Cullen IMING
by Alice Cullen444
Summary: Title says it all. Just random conversations between the cullens,Bella, Jake & other randoms. Hope you enjoy it : It should be funny : I do not own twilight, Meyer does, unfortunately! Set in eclipse!
1. What Long fingers really means

**Msn with the cullens**

Bella- Ilovesparklyvamps

Edward- longfingers

Jacob- Werewolfsrock

Alice: Shop-a-holic

Jasper: Emoboy

Emmett: Ilikepies

Rose: Fuckthis

Carlisle: DoctorCarlisle

Esme: Mothergoose!

**Ilovesparklyvampires has just signed in **

Longfingers: Hey love, you finally got it to work?

Ilovesparklyvampires: Stupid piece of shit- Oh hey Edward!

Longfingers: Mind the tongue dear! Like my name?

Ilovesparklyvampires: Long fingers? Wtf... dude that sounds so wrong!

Longfingers: whats wrong with my name? Its meant to mean that I have long fingers, and to be a good musician you have to have long fingers...

**Ilikepies has signed in **

Longfingers: Oh no....

Ilovesparklyvampires: Oh yes... Emmett tell Edward why his name sounds wrong!

Ilikepies: Well Edward...

Longfingers: Is this another one of your very long stories that ends up making no sense?

Ilikepies: Yes...

Longfingers: Im going then.

Ilovesparklyvampires: Awww Edward stop being such a kill joy and hear him out!

Longfingers: Sigh... go on Emmett...

Ilikepies: Thank you belly-welly, well the meaning of long fingers actually means that you have a big one...

Longfingers: Big one?

Ilovesparklyvampires: A big dick Edward! Get with the times!

Longfingers: Oh....

Ilikepies: so Bella, are you up for a game of hide and seek?

Ilovesparklyvampires: No thank you....

Ilikepies: :O Why not...?

Longfingers: Because Emmett you will end up cheating, and hide and seek is so not fun!

Ilovesparklyvamps: Agreed!

Ilikepies: Fine Ill go see if Alice wants to play.... goodbye!

**Ilikepies has signed out**

Longfingers: What was the point of him signing in?

IlovesparklyVampires: I have no idea... to see if I wanted to play hide and seek I think.... oh I have to go, Jacob is at the door...

Longfingers: I bet he wants you in the bedroom....

Ilovesparklyvampires: Dont be mean Edward, Jaky is a nice boy!

Longfingers: He wants in your pants.... don't deny it!

Ilovesparklyvampires: I shall deny it Edward. Goodbye now me and Jacob are going to go kissy kissy!

Longfingers: You're lying....

**Ilovesparklyvamps has signed out **

Longfingers: Maybe she wasn't....

**Okay so this is my first of Cullen IMing... **

**How did you like it? :) There will be more cullens and Jacob in it next time.... oh and get this I will be adding new characters in, who will make random appearances ;) **


	2. Talking to Stalker Mike

Bella- Ilovesparklyvamps

Edward- longfingers

Jacob- Werewolfsrock

Alice: Shop-a-holic

Jasper: Emoboy

Emmett: Ilikepies

Rose: Fuckthis

Carlisle: DoctorCarlisle

Esme: Mothergoose!

And....

Mike:MikelovesBella

**Ilovesparklyvamps, Werewolfsrock, Shop-a-holic, Ilikepies and DoctorCarlisle has signed in **

Shop-o-holic: OMG guys this thing is so awesome! You get to talk to your friends when you're like across the world:O

Ilovesparklyvampires: Yes....

DoctorCarlisle: hey guys

Werewolfsrock: Okay how do you work this thing? Ahhh I got it!

Ilikepies: Carlieee barlieee!

DoctorCarlisle: Don't call me that...

Ilovesparklyvampires: Hey Carlisle, Emmett, Jacob.

Werewolfsrock: Hey Bella, why don't you love furry werewolfs?

Ilovesparklyvampires: I don't not love them I just like vamps more....

Werewolvesrock: Why? :O they smell like sick:|

Ilovesparklyvampires: Because I date one... and no they don't Jacob, that's just your wolfy nose that thinks that!

Shop-o-holic: No we don't Jacob... you smell like wet dog!

Ilikepies: Rubberducks

Werewolvesrock: I AM a dog, what do you expect? Want me to rub the smell over you?

DoctorCarlisle: Now now kids, calm down! Lets talk about....

Ilikepies: RubberDucks...

Shop-o-holic: Emmett shut up about rubber ducks!

Ilovesparklyvampires: Where is Edward?

Ilikepies: In the bath with rubber ducks.

Werewolvesrock: Probably showing off his sparkly gay self over cam to some gay perverted man!

Shop-o-holic: Bella he is a way out hunting.

Ilovesparklyvampires: okay... Jacob you are just jealous that I love him and not you.

Werewolves: I am not, it's true Bella, he is gay!

**MikelovesBella has signed in**

Ilovesparklyvampires: Okay who added him in....?

Ilikepies: .....

DoctorCarlisle: it was Emmett.

MikelovesBella: Hello my lovely Bella....

IlovesparklyVampires: Goodbye Mike....

Werewolvesrock: Mike loves Bella? Do I have another boy to compete with?

Ilovesparklyvampires: No

Shop-o-holic: Go awat Mike.

Ilikepies: yes you do Jacob, I am sorry to say!

Werewolvesrock: wait is this the annoying boy that stalks Bella?

MikeLovesBella: I don't stalk Bella...

IlovesparklyVampires: yes you do.

Werewolvesrock: Hahahaha! He is such a loser!

DoctorCarlisle: Im off kids, have fun!

**DoctorCarlisle has signed out **

MikelovesBella: No I am not!

Shop-o-holic: You are

Ilovesparklyvampires: Face it.

Ilikepies: Wait this is mike Newton?

Werewolvesrock: Yes... are you always this slow?

MikelovesBella: NEVER!

Ilikepies: I thought it was Micheal Jackson....

MikelovesBella: no I am Mike Newton... Micheal Jackson is dead....

Ilikepies: he's dead?:O Nooo... who's going to do the moonwalk now?

Werewolvesrock: I can do the moonwalks Emmett....

Ilikpies: Ohmyfishsticks, you're Micheal Jackson reincarnated!

Ilovesparklyvampires: No Emmett if he was, 1. He would only be 6 months of age, and two he would look a lot more plastic.

Werewolvesrock: yes that is correct Bella.

MikelovesBella: bella can we go out to the cinema?

Ilikepies: Hmm....

Ilovesparklyvamps: No.

MikelovesBella: Why not?

Ilovesparklyvamps: because you're a stalker.

Mikelovesbella: So Ill meet you at 7 in port angeles?

Ilovesparklyvampires: I'm going, goodbye cullens and Jacob.

Ilikepie: So am I, I am off to play dress up with Alice, goodbye.

Shop-o-holic: See you mutt.

**Ilovesparklyvampires, Ilikepie and Shop-o-holic** **have signed out **

MikelovesBella: So are you another unfortunate case that is in love with Bella?

Werewolvesrock: Don't talk to me.

MikelovesBella: And I thought we could be BFFS!

**Werewolvesrock has signed out. **


	3. Edward needs rehab

Bella- Ilovesparklyvamps

Edward- longfingers

Jacob- Werewolfsrock

Alice: Shop-a-holic

Jasper: Emoboy

Emmett: Ilikepies

Rose: Fuckthis

Carlisle: DoctorCarlisle

Esme: Mothergoose!

**Fuckthis, Mothergoose, longfingers and Emo Boy have signed in **

Mothergoose: Hello my darling children!

LongFingers: Mommieeee!

Fuckthis: hey mom... oh joy Edward is here!

EmoBoy: And so is Jasper.

FuckThis: Oh the joys.... why am I even on this?

Longfingers: Cause if you don't you are looking after Bella for a week!

FuckThis: Do you know how gay you are right now?

EmoBoy: Rose, stop with the anger. I need to be sad not angry!

LongFingers: Do share Rosalie....

Mothergoose: Children!

Fuckthis: You are even more gay than usual! You bring shame to all gays!

Longfingers: Now you see that isn't the slightest bit hurtful as I am not gay and happily engaged to Bella....

Fuckthis: It's a cover up....

Mothergoose: if you guys are going to fight Im leaving...

Longfingers: Goodbye then mummy.

**Mothergoose has signed out **

Long fingers: it is not a cover up. If I was gay I would show it.

Emoboy: Edward... why do you feel horny?

Fuckthis: Thats what they all say.

Longfingers: I don't, you must be getting that off Emmett. Rosalie if I was gay don't you think you would of seen signs by now?

Fuckthis: I don't need signs, I know you are.

EmoBoy: Rosalie do you actually have any proof?

Fuckthis: No but.

EmoBoy: Then you can't know if he is gay.

Longfingers: Exactly, Brb I'm going to play dress up with Alice.

Fuckthis: Their is proof right there.

LongFingers: I have no choice in this matter, you go or you die!

EmoBoy: Im backing up Edward here Rose. That is very true.

FuckThis: Sigh. Do you ever give me any victory? Ever?

Longfingers: Nope. It's fun watching you get annoyed.

Emoboy. Hah. Hah. Hah

FuckThis: I will win someday.... jasper wtf? Dont laugh, you sound like a boy being abused.

Emoboy: touched.

**Ilovesparklyvamps has signed in ]**

FuckThis: Who added her in?

EmoBoy: I did.

Longfingers: Hey Bella!

IlovesparklyVamps: Hey Edward, Hey Jasper. Hi Rosalie. What are we talking about?

Longfingers: my victory over winning against Rosalie.

EmoBoy: Yet again.

FuckThis: Unfortunately!

Ilovesparklyvams: Edward do you ever let ANYONE win?

Longfingers: Nope, I am addicted to winning!

FuckThis: You need rehab!

Ilovesparklyvamps: What was the fight about?

EmoBoy: If Edward was gay or not.

Fuckthis: Which he secretly is.

IloveSparklyvamps: he obviously isn't I mean, he wouldn't date me. Edward you do need rehab.

Longfigners: Why? Stop ganging up on me!

Ilovesparklyvamps: You are addicted to winning... and cheese.

EmoBoy: Hah. Hah. Hah.

Fuckthis: two things. I for once agree with Bella. And two. Jasper stop laughing, it's depressing!

Long fingers: I can't eat cheese Bella.

Ilovesparklyvamps: That's what you say.... I know you secretly do... cheese monster!

LongFingers: You're so weird sometimes Bella....

EmoBoy: too many emotions. Must retain self. Must go!

**Emo boy has signed out. **

FuckThis: Im going too. Emmett needs me.

**FuckThis has signed out. **

Ilovesparklyvamps: and I thought you loved me... sigh... I will just go and kiss Jacob to feel loved again.

Longfingers: You don't really mean that....

Ilovesparklyvamps: Goodbye Dickward.

**Ilovesparklyvamps has signed out. **

Long fingers: Maybe she does.....


End file.
